SAGA OF 4 YEARS

U will never know what all emotions lie behind a blank face. When everyone leaves with mushy words and tears, I choose to be honest and so I leave this goodbye phase of college with a straight face.

I am happy to leave since there is so much more out of Laxmangarh-jaipur boundaries that are yet to be explored by me. There is a hope for new possibilities and new adventures to experience. I can again be the one that I was once, with an additional advantage of what I am now.
At the same time I am sad for the time here was very much adrenaline-oriented, and such things are hard to forget. I don’t know how much of it I’ll miss though. Some part of time seems wasted, and some worth all the trouble.

I TASTED FREEDOM BY HAVING TRIPS ALL ON MY OWN, WHICH I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO EARLIER.
The IIT-D techfest and AIIMS trip (2nd year) to be the most memorable one with friends. Taking an auto at 1 AM….roaming around in city with mud all over (courtesy AIIMS). Shopping like a freak and still wanting more. Meeting new people. Making new friends.

Then happened GOA, which was more than awesome. Goa came out to be something out of the usual. It was computer networking pouring down through goa rains amplified by Bits goa’s alert airplanes. But again nothing can beat making some good new friends and sneaking from the course’s classes to enjoy some of Goa’s “FUN”. I know I have to go there again to see the real side of it. But nonetheless I had an experience of my own, which can only be understood by alikes.

The trip to Pune for “a special purpose” was ultimate since I was travelling the city all by myself. With a backpack, few bucks, taking local buses, asking for strangers’ help, you might call me naive but well there is no big fun than exploring the city all by yourself(even if you are a girl). But as usual your friends and loved ones won’t let you do that for long.

Attended events I never thought I would.
From a Ball to “women’s day celebration”, were some special occassions that will always be etched in my memory.

Learnt that Mumbai is big time awesome. And part of your life should be spent there. And hopefully it will.


COMING BACK TO COLLEGE. Sorry but never liked it. Could never understand the system. And after all the years I took to be fully aware of it, still feel it not worth understanding.


4 YEARS IN INTERNAL AFFAIRS - Bunking classes, having attendance issues, doodling on last page of copies, controlling giggles in classes, crawling out of the lecture room while lecture in progress, treating yourself in café, making fun of teachers and some selected kids, hating ( it’s very difficult to like everyone), loving, sleeping, craving for sleep, napping, TO getting brain damaged in exams( at times doing wonders with pen on examination sheets), giving innumerable presentations, wasting money on projects, losing weight while working for college’s or team’s events, clicking uncountable pics, teaching karuna’s kids, sometimes working and still not getting the result, coordinating fashion show just so to get deprived of sleep and food and still managing to create a wonderful show with wonderful people.

LEARNT THAT
# staying positive is much more difficult than being negative. And latter does not help at all.
# People who are not with you were never meant to be at first place.
# Stay in touch with your loved ones.
# Never to be patient with those who are reckless with your heart. Never be reckless with those who are patient with you.
# Don’t push it, just leave it.
# Give ideas get ideas.
# never to lose your passion.
# be happy whenever you can. Enjoy whatever coming your way.
# whatever happens, happens for best. And eventually you’ll know how.
# don’t be stupid. Live your life your own way.

CERTAIN COMMON THINGS IN MITS ..

1. U’ll always be given a tag. “the girl who bunks”, “the girl with an accent”, “the girl with the fashion”, “the girl who give presentations”…and somehow you’l be known with that tag itself… the real side of u wil b known by just some because that requires time and patience. I guess it’s a common thing.. we have given tags too…nasty ones! :D
2. The mody fashion statement – umbrella with sneakers, since rains are unpredictable, sun is way too predictable and you have to shuffle through buildings which are at good distance.
3. At night you’ll find most of them in their respective corners glued to their cellphones…balcony, room, rooftop, washroom..as long as it’s a corner.
4. Girls memorize like a high speed machine. And you have to cram at the same rate, which might result in a loss of wit and common sense.
5. Everything is relative and that is where the problem lies.
6. Calculations are necessary. Subjects, marks, money…very important aspect.
7. First benchers smile at teachers, middle benchers laugh at teachers, last benchers give a damn.
8. There will always be a time when you’ll be looked from toe to head and back head to toe, and that time either you run check the mirror or you have recently achieved a gossip or some accomplishment.
9. There will always be times when they will surprise you with their inherent care and soft heart.
10. Placement time is the time of "life" and "death".

Now when all is said, I must say I met some really respectable teachers, some really inspiring seniors, some really talented juniors, some really friendly batchmates and some genuine friends for life.

To brag a little, 2 special moments in 4 years would be the biggest birthday surprise (in 3rd year) and when I got a star named after me at New Years Eve.

After a helluva journey, I crave for peace. Feel like taking a good camera, a good playlist, a backpack and head off to a beautiful place.

I might not miss all of this sooner but will do eventually.

PEACE!

SEVEN WONDERS

“Khoya Khoya chand” was in the background, and I was checking out the new 7 wonders of the world on internet. It was indeed a beautiful night with my mom’s delightful delicacies and overall serenity in the air that made me wonder about the “wonders”. My mother is a full of life (read laughter) lady, bold and charming (the rare combination) and extensively religious. She kept telling me to have my dinner and I kept super gluing myself to the Wikipedia.

The new seven wonders of the world designated on 7/7/07 by the “people” themselves are – “TAJ MAHAL – India”, “CHICHEN ITZA – Mexico”, “CHRIST THE REDEEMER – Brazil”, “COLOSSEUM – Italy”, “GREAT WALL OF CHINA – People’s republic of China”, “MACHU PICCHU – Peru”, “PETRA – Jordan”

Wonder means either to doubt or to be surprised or be in awe with. And after wiki-ing the 7 wonders, I thought – as we grow up, do we learn to materialize things? Is being practical means to have money, assets, and other acquisitive things? Because the real wonders of the world lie in the basics itself.  It is when you are a newborn in this majestic universe and you can experience all the huge gifts god has provided us with. I remember someone quoting “Do not lose your childhood wonder”, and I could not agree with him more. Childhood is the best stage to experience the “real wonders” flamboyantly.

While I started listing my “new yet old” wonders, mom reminded me for the dinner again. I called her and asked what, according to her, the true wonders in world were? She asked for few examples and then replied I wonder “how mrs. Xyz’s beautiful daughter could marry that older, black jerk”. Now this was something I could not respond to in the spur of the moment and so I smiled. She asked “why what did you write”?

Reluctantly I progressed and said “the seven wonders out of so many putting up out there in space could be very near to us.

To begin with, I wonder how to have FAITH. Having faith in the same race of humans is so difficult, where will we get the courage to have some extra pounds of faith if aliens become no more of an assumption. In such a diverse world, having faith is the most challenging aspect. Faith in new policies, faith in the elected government, faith when someone says everything will be alright, faith to gain something after losing, faith that we are capable, faith that someday we all girls will get a perfect ring from a perfect man, faith that one day she will turn back and smile, faith that the man is staring at you because he thinks you have beautiful eyes and not because he is seeking a chance to snatch your moneybag. One can never be sure of them but will always wonder if it might come true. It is definitely brave to have faith but we all will still wonder. Wont we? As much as you see the “glass half full”, you can’t help but notice the air of the other half.

Secondly, the most wonderful of wonders is BEAUTY. We can define beauty as something our eyes can never get enough of; something that is a treat to our vision and a thousand clicks of a camera cannot capture the reality of it. Let it be clear waters of Mediterranean in Marseilles, ice cap of Alps, gigantic Himalayas, architecture of Europe, lady in a bridal trousseau, mile long grin of a child, Beethoven’s classics, melodies of bansuri, Madhubala’s glow, clouds in sky making shapes, green eyes of the lady with a black cloak, exquisite roses and posies, serene and friendly daisies. You cannot help but sigh and wonder how magnificent they can be.

The third wonder would be ART. It always feels amazing when someone can skillfully present something new using some of the tools that we all have got. Let it be fast guitars of rock stars, dance of ballerinas,  michelangelo’s paintings, handicrafts of the craftsmen, chef mom’s dishes, munshi prem chand’s upanyaas or photography of lens holders. The world is artfully designed itself. We all have gotten a share of that art. Art is definitely the basis of wonder.

We have FEELING as the next wonder. It is so startling how we can be extremely happy at one time and totally gloomy the next second. We leave our place being edgy and anxious for the new job and while returning we might just be confident or in love. Three simple words “You are good” can seem to be flattering and admiring when you are joyful and sarcastic when you are heated.

AGE – transitioning to become more mature is wondered upon a lot. While the makers of curious case of Benjamin Button progressed on their thoughts and described a whole new angle of ageing, the reality still holds the very famous and clichéd evolving. And I wonder we will never know which will be the last moment? I wonder how I was so stupid and childish. I wonder how I will be with wrinkles.

Our five SENSES (along with 6^th sense to some fortunate/unfortunate ones) are the most precious gifts given by god. Is it not a wonder that our vision can hold a billion things at once, that we can never be sure what new noise/voice do we get to hear, that how a whole new feeling will be evoked every time in presence of a new aroma, that we can experiment a 1000 languages and if too creative form a language of our own.

Mind is a powerful weapon/source. It is surprising how our THOUGHTS are a reason for all inventions and all the wars. All the wonders are a result of a thought passing by in the minds of the creators.”

My mom nodded and said “Hmm…. sensible!” She got up, turned and told me “I have one more”. Curiously I asked her what and she replied, “Is it not a wonder how I keep telling you to have dinner and you keep sticking to your computer!”

Well after that one more wonder was added to both of our lists.

She wondered “when my kid grew up enough to use such big words”. And I wondered “how adorable she could be”.

remorse

beep beep... u get a message ... "oh the same forward".."delete"... new message .. "same..delete"..
after a siginificant period of time .. the same message ...

"A GIRL IS LIKE A BIRD, GOD's MOST PRETTIEST CREATION IN THE WORLD.

THE CHILDHOOD OF GIRLS IS THEIR GOLDEN AGE.
AFTER THAT, THE WORLD KEEPS THEM INTO BEAUTIFUL CAGE.

THIS INNOCENT CREATURE, LOOKS LIKE A FAIRY.
WHO LOSES HER FEATHER WHEN SHE MARRY.

SHE LEADS ALL HER LIFE IN SERVING OTHERS
SHE ALSO HAS A HEART BUT NONE BOTHERS.

A DRESS OF HAPPINESS & PLEASURE SHE WEARS.
BUT IN EVERY CORNER, YOU FIND A GIRL SHEDDING TEARS.

MORAL: ALWAYS GIVE GIRLS THE DUE RESPECT THEY DESERVE. FORWARD EVERY1 TO MAKE THEM REALISE THE IMPORTANCE OF A GIRL. "

u read it..fully..word by word.. n u think who mite have written it(atleast i think that)
i think this message was definitely composed by an indian since the word "wear" and "tear" does not rhyme, taking into consideration their actual pronunciation and also because of the word "cage" - a very famous attribute in indian female history.
Me being curious about the creator of this message abstracts the whole point of this post.
Anyways i am not a big fan of this particular message, neither i am a female rights activist(which sometimes i wish i should have been). And also i do not fall in anti-men category.
But I couldn't help myself wondering what made this guy/girl write this message. Because i was thinking half the same when i got this message. Did he/she actually knew wht he was writing?
Ofcourse childhood is a golden age for every kid. Why childhood is specially important for girls? It is because afterthen, they are naturally compelled to follow a routine that they never wished for. Because god(even after giving the divine beauty to some) did not compensate with the endless natural tribulations that a female has to go through. The childhood is all they have to be as free as they can never be afterthen...to be lively...to live years that are without boundations(please note natural boundations). The years that follow the golden age work as the makers of a girl's personality. Her parents are most vital human ingredients to shape her future, then comes the siblings, relatives, teachers and friends she is surrounded by. Suddenly parents and others realise that she is not a kid, she is a "GIRL" even when she is 13. Crossed the teens just to come under strict boundaries. Grows older , boundaries increases. Even if she has her own career(that means lets take new modern females into consideration), they have boundaries in offices. Dont kill me but law has provided girls with boundaries too. Lets go rural and lets go deeper into shit.
The point is call a girl "modern" or "ancient" or "rural" .. boundaries for females are set. First god's own boundaries, then parent's, then world's.
Now any sort of molestation ruins the whole integrity of qualities that a person possess. Imagine a little girl enjoying her early years and bam! someone had to satisfy his own desperate needs. Or a girl balancing herself with changing conditions and bam! the worst that could happen. A girl trying her best to make efforts in her career, and bam! the colleagues rather wish her to be beside them just like the girl beside the expensive car in the hot commercials. Distorted, tormented. She either becomes a "bitch" or a "bimbo"(sorry for explicit language). She had to be. There are just lucky few who never had gone through such a process or had the capability of not to realise it. Hence this is my request to all those who adore barney stinson "from HIMYM" to charlie "from two and a half men" ..that even though we are laughing because everything is light, girls are bimbos or bitches because of some reason. Ofcourse with so much of diversity on earth we cant really predict what is what. But it is definitely the general trend.
We can definitely give our respect to girls "not just by pulling chairs or opening doors" but by realising what actually goes around them and by respecting who they are.
I wonder an abstract thought that if the whole world had done something better than concentrating their enormous attention on a girl's limits, there might have been a girl discovering gravity(ofcourse madame curie-the radium girl was a female, all i am saying is more no. of girls would have had the ability to think of a bigger picture than figuring out their own traumas and lives).
I know world has changed and girls are no far behind. But can u think of any stage when they are actually at the same step? Lets get real.
1000s of articles have already been written and given as speeches about the same matter without much of a difference. But I jus did my bit, with hope but no expectations.
I truely believe that if you feel strongly about something, you should concentrate on the action rather than words. But i couldnt help but to write about this. This goes for the few moments when i could have helped a girl but i couldnot. I deeply regret that. Just wishing god to give me enough strength and opportunities.

SAVING THE FEELING

Sometimes somethings are just so near you, that you should by all means get aquainted with, since they are meant specially for you but you wil only realise it until later.
Thousands of incidents have happened to me when I feel this has been with me all along but never did i pay much attention to what it really encapsulates.Its like god wants you to SAVE THE FEELING for a better time..for a better moment.
If to give an instance i would like to share this -
For this to understand i have to give this certain backgorund that me (shruti) is wierdly attracted towards her music. And this that evry1 has something that they are very close to and possesive about. And music is something that evokes, modifies all my feelings. And this is not totally wierd bcoz i have met people who share the same thing as me.:D
Nywys
Once(around my 9th grade) me and one of my few friends that i enjoy sharing my music with, were disussing music as we always did during recess. She always suggested a classic rock and i added up a blues'. That day she also got NIRVANA's cd and put it into my bag. I told her not to give me - as then for me the word rock just meant banging drums..screaming guitar and crazy vocalist. She told me "shruti you have to give attention to this one" on such a serious note that i was dumbstruck for 2 seconds and then passed my quick judgement abt rock but took the cd just so not to hurt her feelings.
I took the cd but never did I try to listen what was in there. Days passed and i gave her d cd back.
She asked me if i liked it n i lied "yes" and she said "one day whenever you wil listen to these tracks, you will call me" .. i had some wierd feeling but as we alwz do wen we are teenagers- i told her to cut the crap.
Years later one of my then-new-friends told me to listen to kurt cobain.. til then i so did not want to listen to anything about rockstars because all i could interpret from their visuals was to unnecessarily get frustrated about meaningless things. I considered rock as just another version of pop culture. totally meaningless, hopeless and souless. He emphasized with great degrees how much i would like it.. but i have been more stubborn in my past.
I had tracks with me all along . But i never bothered to click them.
I also remember my friends praising kurt and putting past tense to every verb they used for kurt. But i never put my attention to things that are not of my interest.
Few months back i went to a club(not xactly! but i have no other term to define it) .. I saw this huge poster of kurt .. i kept staring at it(I had no clue it was him) .. I forgot who was with me and what is going on around...(same that happens in typical movies but it was true)
Months later i.e NOW i remembered that poster i asked my friend who was that poster of and he said "Kurt".. with the power we hold now a days, I googled Kurt.. his biography..his pics..eventually i read about his death .. about his suicide..about his life.. about his songs .. I got so much into him .. I wasted (not the term i want to use but my EXAMS were on!) my whole day i got free as a study leave, in googling everything about Kurt. Finally I heard the tracks.. "Rape Me"..david bowie's version of "The man who sold the world" .. "Jesus does not want me for his sunbeam"... I cried some small tears. I called up my old friend ( I talked to her after 6 years, we had a mojor setback) and although she must have been surprised to a great extent, the ego that comes..went away in a flash and all we left far behind came rushing by. I could look at the greater aspect... GOD JUST WANTED ME TO SAVE THE FEELING.